How Are You Doing?

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I find it difficult to put the last 6 weeks into words. Many people ask how we’re doing, how David is doing, Matthias, and even Louis the dog. Most of us are conditioned to listen for the sound bite—mostly to hear all is well. But what we’ve been through is not a sound bite. The last 6 weeks has left multiple scars on David’s body and, if not scars, at least marks on Lisa and I as people. Stress. Depletion. Anxiety. Now we’re home I have the room to feel these things that I pushed aside to show up everyday for 6 weeks for David, Lisa and Matthias.

Stress and More Stress

No one wants to hear about work stress, especially next to David, but for a lot of people out there—especially men—I have share. I’ve been at 9/10 stress with work for months before David’s multiple life-threatening events. If things changed during our time in the ICU it grew worse rather than better. Now we’re home the weight of it all is here waiting for me—aggravated by my absence. And while people care about our circumstances, make no mistake the business world marches on with all its demands and expectations. There are real consequences. When people depend on you they’re counting on you to deliver, fulfill your obligations and live up to you end of the bargain. Of course they do because they in turn have people counting on them. It’s not wrong, it’s just the reality that we all truly depend on each other.

So How Are you Doing?

So how are we doing? David is healing. We worry every day we’ll have to rush him back to the ER 90 minutes away. In the week since his release from the hospital we’ve taken to him to three doctor appointments and 2 follow up lab appointments. We watch every diaper, the way he breaths and every wince of pain.

Marriage

Lisa and I spent 6 weeks enduring daily crisis that can shatter a relationship. We’re an amazing team. I love that about us. We’re there for each other, supportive picking up each other’s slack and we know we can count on each other. Now exhaustion has set in. Space has crept in. Some of it healthy after so long spent so closely together. Some of it the kind of space that can get between a couple.

Work

I feel like I’ve stepped out of the frying pan into the fire. When your child has a life-threatening crisis people are understanding. When everything feels like it’s crushing you in your professional life you’re on your own to prove your meddle. At least I feel I am.

Family

Matthias is doing well and has good things happening in his life. They’re his to share as he chooses to as a part of his story. But I’m happy for him and proud of him as his dad.

Then sound bite for all this? We’re all home, including David, he’s healing and we’re glad to be home.

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